Ahhhhh! Feels kinda good after going out and walking for a bit. Now that I look back at my previous post it does seem a little bit too... well emo so to say. Well.. I dunno.. it just seems to describe my feelings exactly at that moment of time.

Haiz, lets move on shall we? Hmmm today - well, to be exact, yesterday - I went out for a bit to hougang green's lan shop with my brothers - kh and Jay. Really felt kinda good since I haven't gone out during the holidays except for kendo and camp stuffs. Quite a bit of misfortune on me today though, firstly the bus breaks down... then the computers at the lan shop was having a minor emotional trauma... next up when I reached my grandparents' house no one was there...

(ps. I was suppose to go there by six, or so that's what my mum told me... they suddenly canceled it and I wasn't informed... just great huh? They just assumed that each other [sis + mum + aunt] had informed me... I had to walk from HG to my grandparents' house..)

It's just pure irritating... a waste of time really... That over, TODAY IS THE BIG DAY!!! THE DAY OF MY FIRST KENDO GRADING!!!!! WHoOOOOOOoOoOOOoo!.. I'm so excited I don ever think I can sleep! There's this weird feeling in my chest that I cant get rid of. Feels like the kind where you step on the stage for the first time in front of a live audience! Hmmm my form hasn't been good lately and my stamina just don't seem to hold up... And most importantly my Hakama is still too long!!!!! $%&**#... Hopefully I don't need to adjust it too much tomorrow.. I meant later on.. zzzzz I always hate and love this kind of anxious feeling.. It gives me the thrill that I need to pack my day with, but it also leaves me drained at the end of the day.

Oh ya. My sister mentioned to me that one of her friend supposedly died and someone posted up her letter for her on her blog... I was kinda shock initially I admit, but was immediately pissed off the moment I saw her so called last post.

A lot of loopholes in the farce she made up. http://mikibibi.blogspot.com

What was said there was "i'm not the owner of this blog. I am one of her friends ... ***the supposedly last letter*** ... this is the letter that she left behind. kerryn is dead, 15-06-2007, 9.45.34 pm. regrets is forever. now's that she is gone, everything is over. let's pray and let her rest in peace." posted on 9:31pm. 15 June 2007

How many clues, as to this is a fake suicide, can you find in this short paragraph that I lifted verbatim - yes, verbatim even the case (upper case - lower case you get it don't you?) - from her "last" post on the blog?

For starters... notice the time of death and the posting time.. unless the friend can travel through time and get her letter from the future, or that the friend is the murderer, there is no way she can know of the exact timing of death. Notice that she puts it down to the fine details of seconds.

Second, if this is kerryn's blog why would she be bothered to give access to a friend b4 she died?

Thirdly, how can her friend can so calmly post her final letter, when she - her friend that she trusted enough to entrust with the burden of carrying her final words - knows she is still not dead but rather in the process of? this is extrapolated from "now's that she is dead, everything is over. let's pray and let her rest in peace" ... her friend did not even try to help her? or is it just me? SHE STAYED SOMEWHERE COMFY AND TYPED THE POST WHILE HER FRIEND DIES?

Fourth, Ignoring the blaring facts above and supposing they are possible to be done and THAT she is dead, how did the friend come to know it fast enough to even post it on the same night?
Look deeper in between the sentences and think. I said supposing she is dead. If a person is dead the guardians would be grieving and if so.. how would this good friend of hers get his/her hands on the letter? can you link the grieving part and the getting letter part up, or can you?

And IF they did get through the guardians, did you seriously think the police would let any piece of possible evidence get out? Naive... too naive...

Seriously, if I had IQ and EQ like yours? I"D RATHER GO AND DIE!... I mean come on.. if its for a guy that you really love it is also not worth going so far as to die and...

ITS MUCH MUCH LESSER WORTH IF IT MEANS TO FAKE YOUR DEATH AND RESIGN YOUR FRIENDS TO WORRY FOR YOU! I mean.. its YOUR problem NOT your friends, why blow up the matter so big as to burden all your friends? to add on.. you are making those that love you worry because of a guy that does love you no longer?

If you ever come across this, or anyone thinking of playing such a stupid but elaborated plan to test if he/she is gonna turn around and say "Honey!!! OH Darling! My sweetie-pie!! Are you alright? Did you lose enough blood to die?", weigh the god-damned matter of who's more important to you.